00:00.0
00:02.2
I have a few things I'd like to discuss.
00:02.5
00:04.8
We've completed our roster for the new ZRL season.
00:05.3
00:07.1
And stage 1 is already done and dusted.
00:07.6
00:10.8
We have maintained the core of the team and added a couple of talented puncheurs
00:11.3
00:14.5
And we believe we're even stronger than last season.
00:15.6
00:19.4
That's great, with the bike swap strategy we should be able to show them who's the real MVP.
00:25.3
00:26.7
Swapping...
00:28.2
00:31.6
Swapping was a complete and utter disaster.
00:31.7
00:36.5
I forgot I had to be at standstill to change the bike.
00:49.6
00:51.4
Everyone who raced for...
00:54.0
00:58.5
Get the fuck out of here.
01:09.2
01:11.4
That was a fucking order!
01:11.5
01:15.0
Go to the pairing screen and stop pedalling!
01:15.1
01:19.9
Stay together and you'll crush the competition through the jungle climb.
01:20.5
01:24.8
What have I done to deserve this mediocracy?
01:24.9
01:27.3
Did you even watch the recon video from Si Bradley?
01:27.4
01:30.0
If you did, you would have know you have to practice the bike swap in advance!
01:30.5
01:35.9
But with the braindead imbecils in this team, I'm sure you didn't even know which course we were racing.
01:36.0
01:37.7
Boss, I couldn't remember what the gravel bike was called.
01:37.8
01:40.1
Cervelo Aspero!
01:40.2
01:41.8
How difficult can it be?
01:41.9
01:43.1
Boss, I had AppleTV and sweaty fingers.
01:43.2
01:48.0
I'm tired of bad excuses and lousy efforts.
01:48.1
01:50.7
It's all I'm hearing!
01:51.1
01:55.3
All you had to do was keeping it calm, bunch up and fly past the pack.
01:55.7
01:57.6
We would have dominated that podium.
01:57.7
02:02.5
Instead we are standing here in shame, looking like a bunch of losers.
02:02.6
02:07.4
I have been looking forward to this season like a little kid in a candy store.
02:07.5
02:11.2
I even tattooed the team logo on my butt cheek.
02:11.5
02:14.4
Who the hell came up with the idea of gravel roads for
02:14.5
02:16.6
indoor TRAINERS!
02:20.1
02:22.7
Why isn't it a part of the Zwift Academy?
02:23.9
02:25.0
Someone should issue a support ticket!
02:25.1
02:27.4
A test of Zwift support!
02:27.5
02:29.9
I'm sure we'll get a bounty for it.
02:35.6
02:40.4
Whenever I contact them all I get is a copy-paste standard reply that isn't even answering my question.
02:40.5
02:45.3
Zwift is so full of "world class" athletes, masquerading as pudgy middle aged guys.
02:46.5
02:48.5
They're so modest that they refuse to impose themselves
02:48.9
02:52.0
To the no doubt devastating effect on the ranks of pro cyclists.
02:52.5
02:56.0
Instead they are just toiling away anonymously in their basements.
02:56.9
03:00.0
Don't worry. Eric Min said they're "working on it".
03:05.5
03:08.1
One day I was going to do a race, and the app had to update.
03:10.4
03:14.7
It went on and on, and I thought this is not going to go well.
03:16.2
03:17.8
I was right.
03:22.0
03:23.9
RGT was downloaded.
03:31.2
03:33.5
It was so boring I nearly fell off my bike.
03:33.6
03:36.6
The most entertaining part of it is a wild west town
03:37.1
03:39.1
with a train that moves around.
03:43.5
03:45.3
I deleted the account.
