00:00.0
00:04.8
So we used to be tight, we used to go to the Penrose
00:04.9
00:07.4
Congrats, Cuzzy took home another 300-pound troll!
00:07.5
00:10.6
As if he were ever interested in genetic women
00:11.1
00:15.9
Vanessa used to work there too, before she went on her "elite" "study" trip to London
00:17.4
00:21.4
She's studying Shakespeare, she's going to change the world!
00:21.5
00:23.9
She's the American Winston Churchill now!
00:25.8
00:28.2
Cool Facebook posts!
00:29.6
00:31.0
It's true, a real intellectual!
00:31.1
00:34.8
Her apartment there is probably a renaissance salon at this point!
00:38.0
00:39.8
I just can't even...
00:41.1
00:47.5
Nobody's had this much fun since Sam fucked V on her balcony
00:47.6
00:50.5
She was squirming like Cuzzy at Evolve lounge looking for trannies on his birthday!
00:51.3
00:56.8
Cuzzy was mad when he took the tranny home because she DIDN'T get hard!!
00:58.0
00:59.3
I'm not making this up, I swear
00:59.4
01:01.7
The dude should star on the transgender Bachelorette!
01:04.1
01:06.1
Sweetie Coxx, will you take this rose?
01:06.5
01:08.4
Suck me Caitlyn!!!
01:13.0
01:14.5
Solo would laugh, but he's stuck in his office
01:14.6
01:16.7
He's working hard, he filmed 13 snapchats already and had 6 cups of coffee
01:17.1
01:20.2
He spends more time staring at Vlad than working on his spreadsheets
01:21.3
01:27.3
Nothing compares to Sam though, thanks so much for the invitation to Montauk!! Lemme help you with those burgers bud!! Naw nevermind, you've got it pal
01:34.9
01:36.6
Hey bud, can you clean up our cups?
01:36.9
01:39.7
I think some water spilled out of your jacuzzi!! You better get a towel!
01:41.2
01:44.2
But seriously, I love Sam. He's great.
01:44.3
01:47.1
Way better than that fuck face UES Ryan
01:47.2
01:49.1
With his "hot" and "normal" girlfriend Danielle
01:50.0
01:53.1
How will he have time for all his friends!?!?
01:54.7
01:56.6
Ryan doesn't realize that fat Richie is the only groomsman he's going to have
01:56.7
01:58.9
Standing next to him at the altar, sweating profusely in his XXXXXL tux
01:59.4
02:02.7
Danielle, do you take this awkward loser to be your lawfully wedded husband?
02:04.9
02:07.2
He thinks Solo is his pal, Solo's gonna be giving the toast!!!
02:10.0
02:11.0
Can't wait for all the Microsoft Excel jokes!
02:11.1
02:13.0
Man are those gonna kill!
02:15.0
02:16.9
Vanessa's gonna be putting every picture from the wedding up on Instagram!!
02:17.4
02:20.7
There will be inspirational captions for each of the photos!!
02:21.0
02:27.7
"True love conquers all, may the light of your hearts warm each other until you grow old and droop like Spanish moss!"
02:29.0
02:30.0
Good one V, that's so deep
02:30.1
02:33.1
Sure, she's a well-oiled machine, a beautiful mind!
02:36.9
02:40.2
I haven't laughed this hard since Rick screened "Inside Girl -- Deep Impact" at Fire Island
02:40.3
02:43.0
What do those subtitles say?? Smother me with your dope koi fish tattoo??
02:50.6
02:55.0
Oh this is too much... I'm having more fun than Mike at a free deodorant giveaway
02:56.7
02:58.2
He really does smell awful sometimes, doesn't he?
02:58.3
03:04.0
Real talk--those bike shorts smell like expired milk had sex with uncultured three-month-old Greek yogurt
03:04.1
03:08.9
At least he can wipe his ass, Jeff can't even do that. Ma Dude CJ shit in the middle of Stuytown
03:09.0
03:11.5
Ayyyy, where's a fresh loaf of subway bread when you need it
03:16.6
03:20.2
JxAx diarrhea sandwich would be Subway's best selling item
03:23.9
03:26.5
5 Dollar foot-long, fantastic!! I'd rather eat that than pregame with UES Ryan
03:31.0
03:36.0
LOL Wolfpack
