Sir, as at July 9, 2021, we have reports of an outbreak of the Delta Variant of COVID-19 in the suburbs of Sydney.

Hotspots have been detected in Bondi, Liverpool, Balmain, Bankstown and Fairfield.

There are also reports the virus could spread to other neighbourhoods in the metro area.

If left unchecked, it could make it to other state captials by the end of the week.

That’s OK – our vaccination numbers should be high enough to avoid a full-scale lockdown.

My lord...

Sir...

Sir, we’ve only managed to fully vaccinate 8% of our population to date.

Sydney – will be locked down immediately.

Anyone who can work from home, leave the room.

How did we let this happen?

Rampant community spread?

Scotty and his cronies have been busy patting themselves on the back…

…thinking they managed to complete the job simply by keeping foreigners out of the country and destroying people’s economic livelihoods.

We are a country of immigrant heritage – many of us still have extended family living abroad!

Sir, the inbound quota has been successful at keeping the virus outside the country.

We’ve been blocking our own citizens from returning to the country! What are we, Nazi Germany?

The lockdowns have also been successful at suppressing the spread of the virus.

Turning our cities into open-air prisons at the drop of a hat is not a viable long-term solution!

The vaccine is the answer!

I get it that we tried to develop a domestic solution to the supply problem.

Vaccine politics is a very real thing that could have heavily limited imports.

But unless we were prepared to spend $10 billion on a solution, like the Americans did...

…development was always going to be an uphill battle.

Scotty from Marketing had the same opportunity to strike deals with Pfizer and Moderna...

...comparable to the European Union and Canada, who have now vaccinated 35-45% of their populations.

We’ve managed to keep a lot of people safe and healthy to date.

And I’ve enjoyed the three relaxed beach trips to Forster...

...in lieu of taking the kids to Disneyland.

Dammit!

Even those Canadians has managed to fully vaccinate a greater share of its population than us.

The Calgarians are getting wasted at the Stampede as we speak, dancing to Achy Breaky Heart

Daring others to eat prairie oysters and the proverbial rat-on-a-stick.

Their premier is even promoting this season as the Best Summer Ever™!

It’s OK – they’ll still have to deal with -30°C weather this winter.

Oh well, it looks like we are heading into a lockdown.

There’s not much we can do for the time being.

Except wait it out and sign up for the vaccine when we can.

On the upside, I could always direct the avocado toast budget towards a new Peloton bike.