02:00.5
02:03.8
Hello, welcome to England in the Dark Ages.
02:03.9
02:06.2
I am here to give my expert opinion to the King.
02:06.3
02:09.4
We need to maintain peace in Europe to prosper and grow.
02:09.5
02:12.7
Our culture, language, even our diet will improve through mutual agreement.
02:12.8
02:15.1
We will only be harming ourselves if we don't work together.
02:15.2
02:17.5
It would be foolish to reject friendships or alliances.
02:17.6
02:19.9
We are stronger together than apart.
02:20.0
02:23.0
There is nothing to fear from integrating with foreign communities.
02:23.1
02:26.2
More free movement of labour and goods can only be a good thing for the Britons.
02:26.3
02:28.6
Oh bugger it's the Gove Knight!
02:28.7
02:30.5
We've had enough of you bloody experts!
04:42.0
04:44.8
Come on! White Earl on White Knight, let's see who's whiter.
04:44.9
04:46.8
Our special guest Enoch Powell can Umpire.
04:53.7
04:55.4
Come on Nigel, where's our symbol of the pure race?
05:00.7
05:05.0
You daft twat, you're a Dulwich boy, this isn't Eton where it pays to be stupid.
05:05.1
05:06.5
Lucky I go to a normal High School like Dulwich.
05:06.6
05:08.5
Yes, normal and average.
05:19.0
05:20.0
Nope too black
05:44.0
05:46.0
I bet he comes back with something stupid, I'm going to see.
05:46.1
05:49.0
Just make sure it isn't you know, colourful.
06:16.6
06:19.5
Fuck me bruv, I've just found this, looks like Brexcalibur.
06:23.8
06:27.2
Boys, what's that you've got? Brexcalibur, is it white enough for us?
06:28.4
06:33.0
Maybe, but it's Nigel's, King of the Racists now. (Heil Fuhrage in background)
06:33.1
06:35.0
King of the Racists oh my!
06:36.0
06:38.5
I feel whiter and Britisher already. Does this mean?
06:41.0
06:45.6
Quick, the anti-fascist Euro Tories, put it back lad.
06:53.1
06:54.6
(Chanting- We aren't racists but...)
06:55.0
06:57.0
Say nothing lads, I got this.
06:58.6
07:00.0
Who touched it?
07:06.7
07:07.4
(Shouting random soundbites)
07:12.7
07:15.0
Told you, we aren't racists.
07:21.5
07:24.6
Go on Nigel, your turn, show them that you aren't a racist.
07:31.0
07:34.5
(Cheering- Nigel King of the Racists)
07:43.0
07:47.7
I thought you said show him you are. So what does King of the Racists do?
07:49.2
07:53.2
He has to build an army of Racists. A People's Army if you will.
07:53.3
07:56.0
You'll need someone to teach you the old ways too.
07:56.1
07:57.2
I thought he killed himself in the bunker?
07:57.3
08:00.8
Oh you mean Mr Powell?
08:01.2
08:09.0
He'll teach you all about the forbidden art of repatriation, how to get away with saying really racist things.
08:09.1
08:13.9
By the time he's finished with you, you won't be able to do a crossword without getting angry about the black squares invading.
08:14.0
08:16.2
Not crosswords!
08:16.3
08:18.8
He'll even teach you how to be racist to white people.
08:21.1
08:23.5
Nige, so how racist have you been so far?
08:23.6
08:25.0
I knew an African once, Pedro.
08:25.1
08:32.0
Great, we can cross Africans off the schedule. Let's focus on Europe. First you need to split the party.
08:32.1
08:36.9
(Shouting- Enoch Powell come here)
08:37.0
08:38.5
(Crowd booing, yelling "Nigel listens to us")
08:40.8
08:46.0
Under this mans banner we will overturn that vote we had in 1975. Take back control!
08:46.1
08:49.0
Did you hear that, I told you they weren't going to shut up about it.
08:49.1
08:53.9
Quiet boy, what are a bunch of rich racists going to amount to, seriously?
08:55.0
09:00.0
You'd have to get elected to Brussels, have a party majority foothold, stir up Nationalism in Europe.
09:02.0
09:04.0
Come on lads let's start up 15 different Get out of Europe campaigns, Rothermere have you got Rupert's number?
09:04.1
09:08.9
You fecking idiot!!!
09:09.0
09:10.1
What did I say???
09:19.5
09:24.2
It's all set, you'll be in Number 10 in 2010, the bad news is you will have to start in a coalition with the Lib Dems.
09:24.6
09:33.1
You're allowed six years. Just have fun with it, remember it's not about the country, it's about the party.
09:35.2
09:41.0
If you keep applying the right pressure then they will vote for whatever "we" tell them too.
09:41.1
09:42.5
How many souls?
09:42.6
09:47.4
I never disclose my financials, price means price and pay means pay.
09:47.5
09:49.5
But I can help you devalue the country too, extras means extras.
09:51.0
09:53.8
That'll go great with that austerwhatsity that Gideon has invented.
09:53.9
09:57.0
See you're a natural Tory Davey.
09:57.1
09:59.1
Here's the two I was talking about.
09:59.2
10:04.0
You'd better not fuck this up. Oh and orders from you know who, we have to leave Europe.
10:04.1
10:07.0
Orders means Orders, fucking racists.
10:07.1
10:09.1
Leave Europe are you fucking mad? Wait did you just say racists?
10:09.2
10:14.0
Forget the racists Davey, just think of the good times.
10:14.1
10:15.5
Quiet Gideon.
10:20.0
10:22.5
Usual for me and George and whatever Lucifer is drinking.
10:24.0
10:25.5
Thank you for covering for me
10:26.5
10:28.5
It was nothing.
10:28.6
10:29.6
The fake story with the pig? To protect me.
10:29.7
10:31.0
Yeah a fake story...
10:31.1
10:35.9
Great news, I get to be PM in about 15 years. Lucifer is a great legal expert, who knew there was so many loopholes?
10:36.0
10:40.5
Wait here I'll be right back. Sam you'll never guess who I have to work with. Nick Clegg!
10:41.0
10:43.5
Oh dear Davey.
10:43.6
10:45.6
Not tonight love.
10:46.7
10:48.7
Here's your drinks gents
10:49.4
10:52.4
Screw Europe and screw the country, Davey is getting Dirty!
10:58.0
11:04.0
So with Clegg in my way, I'll never get to be as evil as I could be.
11:04.1
11:08.9
That's a shame. Look Davey I need to tell you I've been seeing...
11:12.1
11:15.0
Carswell, Douglas Carswell.
11:15.1
11:19.9
Oh Bollocks, look I didn't touch her, I'm still a virgin.
11:20.0
11:24.8
Virgin? Not what my photographer at the farm told me.
11:24.9
11:28.5
Come on darling, the BNP are having a knitathon in the next village, they'll see us right.
11:39.0
11:42.0
Shit Dave, Europe
11:42.1
11:45.0
I know but they'll never shut up will they.
11:48.5
11:58.5
And George, at least we get to stash the cash. I have trusts flowing through 175 offshore accounts. Zero Tax!
11:58.6
12:03.4
About that, Carswell said you have to sort out the BNP, a new party is rising from them.
12:03.5
12:07.5
We may as well, we do for everyone else.
12:07.6
12:12.4
Right, gather Govey, Foxy, Bojo and Old Davey, we have a future to ruin.
12:13.0
12:16.0
I bloody love Europe.
12:16.1
12:16.6
Our nights in Paris ah...
12:25.1
12:27.1
I am Nigel. Your true King
12:27.2
12:31.0
Paul, Paul Golding, lovely to meet you, when do we attack?
12:31.1
12:35.5
At ease soldier, no attacks today.
12:35.6
12:36.6
Do you have soundbites? Can I try one?
12:37.5
12:40.5
Yes here, "We want our country back"
12:40.8
12:43.5
That got my springs in a coil.
12:44.5
12:46.0
So we need to recruit all out and tell them to vote UKIP
12:46.1
12:53.1
Look I'm in charge of the BNP, I want my votes for me.
12:53.2
13:03.4
No, no, there's only one I in team and it's in Nigel.
13:03.5
13:10.0
Only I can fly round the world challenging democracy and turning it into fascism.
13:10.1
13:12.5
And what you have your own wings?
13:15.0
13:17.8
Your own wings, wow, like Dambusters?
13:17.9
13:19.7
You'd think they'd never seen a racist before.
13:19.8
13:24.6
He's just so down to earth, erm I heard that somewhere.
13:24.7
13:29.0
Don't touch the Anti-Muslamic Ray Gun
13:29.1
13:31.1
When do we get one? Or is it just for the UKIPs?
13:31.2
13:35.0
Look, the guy is a fraud, he hasn't got wings.
13:35.1
13:37.5
I think somebody is jealous of the new Racist King.
13:37.6
13:41.5
Enough, this Farage is a nut, he's dangerous and we were thinking of winding down remember?
13:41.6
13:43.3
Winding down?
13:43.4
13:47.5
Well if you want to be a coward, just when the war is starting.
13:47.6
13:51.1
Look you jumped up little shit, I was on the marches when you were learning ABC's. We're done, finished.
13:51.2
13:54.2
Well if he wants to take up the mantle
13:54.3
13:59.1
Mr Farage, when can we go and harass empty treehouses?
13:59.2
14:04.0
He doesn't know, he's fake. He's a phoney.
14:04.1
14:07.0
Who's a phoney?
14:07.1
14:11.0
They look splendid, do they come in white?
14:11.1
14:15.9
What? He'll never fly with that cheapo crap.
14:16.0
14:20.8
I urge you sir, I am a skilled flyer.
14:20.9
14:22.4
You won't manage to take off here.
14:22.5
14:23.7
Yes I will, now stand back.
14:23.8
14:23.9
You'll never make it.
14:24.0
14:28.8
Yes I will I'm a UKIP Ranger.
14:28.9
14:30.0
There's no such thing.
14:30.1
14:32.1
I'll show you.
14:41.0
14:44.8
To our borders, and within....
15:55.0
16:02.0
If you would not vote to join now, then do not vote to stay.
16:02.1
16:06.9
If you Vote Leave and Take Back Control we can all feel safe from Turkey joining tomorrow.
16:07.0
16:13.4
I am an immigrant and we have too many immigrants.
16:13.5
16:23.5
So you should Vote Leave to stop immigrants. I couldn't come unless I was skilled, is that fair that they come now skilled or not?
16:25.0
16:29.5
I told you she's racist towards other immigrants.
16:29.6
16:31.6
Who just called me a racist?
16:31.7
16:36.5
How can it be racist stupid, when they are white???
16:36.6
16:41.4
I know you, you aren't a member of the Farage Women in Waiting.
16:41.5
16:43.5
Look I'll go I just wanted to know what Brexit means.
16:43.6
16:47.0
If Mr Farage says too many migrants, there's too many okay!!!
16:47.5
16:54.2
You want to know what Brexit means, you should have gone next door. UKIP have a lovely display on.
16:54.3
16:59.1
Too bad you won't see it, it was beautiful.
16:59.2
17:04.0
Now what to do with you, maybe you can join the last one to spy on us.
17:04.1
17:08.9
How do I do this again, ah yes turn my eyes purple because I'm all UKIP inside.
17:09.0
17:15.3
And Take Back Control...
17:30.6
17:34.6
That's what we do to Guardian reporters.
17:34.7
17:39.5
If you want to know how to do that you must Vote Leave and Take Control.
17:39.6
17:45.2
Just remember before we had immigrants you were all young, so Vote Leave to get younger again.
17:45.3
18:02.8
If we leave the EU we will get some money and we'll keep it ourselves, sod funding.
18:02.9
18:10.0
Here's 350 quid for everyone to buy Vote Leave merchandise!!!
18:29.0
18:31.5
Here's what Brexit is:
18:33.5
18:38.8
Nigel Farage, Nigel Farage. He works so hard for you and me.
18:38.9
18:41.9
Nigel Farage, Nigel Farage. Only if you're as white as he.
18:42.0
18:46.8
At school he sang his Nazi songs and everybody laughed along.
18:46.9
18:50.7
But now he aims to harm EU and Leave voters just don't see
18:50.8
18:55.4
They just don't see, they don't see, they don't see like you and me.
18:55.5
19:01.3
Nigel Farage, Nigel Farage, he loves the word democracy.
19:01.4
19:05.0
Nigel Farage, Nigel Farage, he prefers the style of fascistry.
19:05.1
19:08.5
His policies are all bullshit, he's not a racist but...
19:08.6
19:13.4
Herr Fuhrage here he is!!!!
19:45.3
19:49.4
Isn't Brexit wonderful? All those figurines looked almost alight.
19:49.5
19:54.3
But you know if Leave lose the referendum by say 52%-48% we will carry on forever fighting to get out and become a wasteland.
20:00.7
20:02.9
Nigel Farage
20:12.7
20:17.5
Greetings Leave voters, make sure you take a pen to Vote Leave.
20:38.7
20:41.4
I swear if Angus Robertson asks me one more trick question, I'll have him.
20:42.0
20:45.0
Every fucking week. Is this Brexit? Is that Brexit?
20:46.4
20:49.4
He'll know when we fucking tell him. The Government is sovereign.
20:49.5
20:54.3
Did everybody like how I avoided all the hard questions this week?
20:54.4
20:59.2
That's how you do it people, tell them nothing or they expect answers regularly.
20:59.3
21:05.0
Like with Corbyn did he really think I was going to admit to a plan to ruin schools?
21:05.1
21:08.5
I'll Royal Prerogative him back to the Dark ages like that Historian.
21:09.0
21:13.4
I'm not sure that's what the Monarch's Powers were meant for, but there's no law against it.
21:13.5
21:19.9
Soon Hammond, Farage will have collected all the Prerogative in Europe for us, and we'll have control too.
21:20.0
21:24.8
We have Priti Patel sneaking about waving money at poor countries waiting for one that can do something for us.
21:24.9
21:29.7
The press can run it as Brexit Boom in developing countries as well as everywhere in Britain.
21:29.8
21:31.8
And ban Davis from saying the word sexy.
21:31.9
21:33.9
Ah the report, bring it here.
21:34.0
21:38.8
Can you believe there's only one copy of this?
21:40.5
21:45.0
House of Lords Select Committee Invoking Article 50
21:45.1
21:49.9
Parliament should decide
21:50.0
21:54.8
A disturbing precedent
21:54.9
21:59.7
Should not trigger without Parliamentary Approval
21:59.8
22:04.6
Consider it Constitutionally appropriate for the assent of both Houses to be needed
22:11.6
22:16.4
They are making me look foolish on purpose
22:16.5
22:21.3
Subverting our newly improved demofascist state.
22:21.4
22:26.2
The people voted leave for upto 20 different outcomes.
22:26.3
22:31.1
I looked stupid at the G20, I'm not even invited to the Bratislava.
22:31.2
22:38.1
All I can see when I look online is fucking advisory advisory advisory.
22:38.2
22:43.0
We can't even Brexit without our hands held.
22:43.1
22:52.0
We had strict instructions. Leave the EU. Destroy education and Welfare, Hammer the NHS and roll back as many rights as possible.
22:57.3
23:00.6
Go tell Davis no faking it, Actually do the assessments.
