00:00.0
00:02.8
The invasion is going just as planned mein Fuhrer
00:03.0
00:07.7
We have successfully captured the Southern towns of Melitopol and Kherson
00:07.8
00:11.0
We are now working on taking Mariupol
00:11.1
00:15.9
But we are having difficulty as our ships cannot get in range
00:16.6
00:20.8
The Moskva will make it all right
00:24.2
00:29.0
Mein Fuhrer...The Moskva...
00:29.1
00:33.0
The Moskva was hit by two Ukrainian Neptune anti-ship missiles
00:33.1
00:35.8
It has now sunk
00:51.4
00:58.6
Only Lavrov, Shoigu, Patrusev, Medvedev and Gerasimov stay in the room
01:12.8
01:14.3
That was a mistake!!!
01:15.0
01:18.3
Letting our Flagship close to those Ukrainian Nazis was a mistake!!!
01:18.4
01:23.2
How was that ship hit by missiles? We fitted with all the newest Russian anti air systems!
01:23.3
01:30.8
The Admiral told me that they would be too slow and pose no threat to our ships!
01:31.5
01:34.5
The guys on Snake Island were telling us to f*ck off and we did just that
01:34.6
01:40.2
First the Orsk and now the Moskva...By the end of this war, there will be no Russian Navy left!
01:40.3
01:42.7
Mein Fuhrer, it doesn't matter it was an old ship
01:42.8
01:46.3
It was the Flagship of the Black Sea Fleet
01:46.4
01:48.5
Mein Fuhrer, we were going to replace it anyways
01:48.6
01:52.2
It doesn't matter if it was old, it just shows how idiotic our Navy is!
01:52.3
01:54.2
Just like our Army!
01:56.0
02:00.4
Do you think India or China will ever buy our military equipment after this???
02:00.5
02:04.1
The Ukrainian farmers have more tanks now than all our sources in the South!
02:04.2
02:08.0
It was not enough that we lost all our elite units
02:08.1
02:12.9
But we now rely on the glorious "Tik Tok" batallion to gain victory in the South
02:13.0
02:17.1
All they do is fight invisible enemies before posting it on Tik Tok
02:17.2
02:22.0
And my top generals are more prone to death than they were under Stalin
02:25.9
02:30.0
I just want my Soviet Empire back
02:30.1
02:31.8
When we were a global power
02:31.9
02:34.0
A superpower!
02:34.1
02:39.2
Now we have to made do with North Korea and Syria
02:40.8
02:42.0
And that clown from Belarus...
02:42.1
02:47.5
He showed my entire battleplan to the entire world on live television!
02:48.4
02:52.5
I did not know such incompetence was possible, even from a puppet clown
02:53.4
02:56.2
Now we have been hit with all these sanctions as well...
02:56.3
02:59.4
How will I be able to go on holiday in my superyacht now
02:59.5
03:03.2
It'll be sanctioned as soon as it leaves Russia
03:03.3
03:08.1
It will be ok, we have hidden accounts
03:14.8
03:17.2
Even India is considering stopping their fuel orders
03:19.2
03:24.0
Russia... No, I am never going to financially recover from this
03:25.4
03:26.7
We're f*cked
03:32.0
03:34.5
The trick is hiding it
03:38.4
03:42.5
So long as the people do not find out
03:42.6
03:47.4
They will believe my propaganda to the grave and beyond
