00:00.0
00:02.2
We now come to Coatbridge South.
00:02.3
00:07.1
It's a ward with strong Labour backing in Whifflet and Kirkshaws.
00:07.2
00:10.4
Geraldine will be our female candidate.
00:10.5
00:14.3
That means we also need a male candidate for the ward.
00:15.9
00:19.2
I am the CLP Secretary and wish to stand. Do I have a seconder?
00:26.1
00:27.1
Tom Connelly...
00:28.1
00:33.1
We're backing Tom Connelly. He's an old Catholic bastard like us.
00:49.9
00:55.3
I want to speak to Mary, Jim, Tom and that fuckwit Lamond.
01:09.2
01:10.6
What the actual fuck?!
01:11.0
01:14.2
Not one of those bastards would second me?!
01:15.0
01:19.0
They can't handle my shit-hot Presbyterian socialism!
01:21.3
01:23.2
Or maybe its because I don't take orders from Rome?!
01:25.0
01:26.2
Tom Fucking Connelly?!
01:27.3
01:29.0
We might as well offer communion as an election giveaway!
01:30.1
01:35.8
I'm not good enough to stand yet we're running a fucking woman who thinks Sturgeon will turn her grandweans black?!
01:36.2
01:38.2
Andrew, you should come to Ward 6...
01:38.3
01:41.1
For fuck sake, Scott! Fight your own political battles!
01:41.2
01:43.0
Andrew, I'm too busy running Scotland's canals!
01:43.7
01:47.9
Just like them, you're full of absolute shite!
01:48.0
01:49.2
This is a humiliation!
01:49.3
01:55.2
I have been CLP Secretary for years now and had to campaign for Hugh Gaffney and Michael McPake!
01:55.3
01:58.1
A fucking postman and a speccy prick banned from every local boozer!
01:58.2
02:02.1
But tonight has truly been eye-opening...
02:02.2
02:07.0
That my chance to get on the Council is in the hands of coffin-dodging Catholics!
02:07.8
02:10.1
And fucking Vincent Grant!
02:11.1
02:15.0
I'd have been better off joining the Greens like that spastic, Bazga!
02:20.1
02:22.9
This is sectarianism.
02:23.0
02:27.1
I am a god-loving, Rangers man!
02:27.2
02:30.3
One of the smallest minorities you could get out here!
02:34.1
02:35.2
I mean for fuck sake!
02:35.3
02:40.1
I thought Labour was meant to be for minorities!
02:41.0
02:45.0
They should have had a fucking shortlist just for me!
02:46.0
02:48.1
Well, the only way to get selected in Coatbridge...
02:48.2
02:51.9
Is to hate gays and go on about fucking mass...
02:52.0
02:55.0
So, I might as well do a Hugh and go kiss the Bishop's ring!
02:57.0
02:59.1
Don't worry, Hugh, the Bishop still likes you.
03:06.0
03:08.0
The tragedy is I had real ideas for Lanarkshire...
03:10.0
03:14.0
The Monklands Canal could have been at the heart of a new Lanarkshire republic...
03:16.0
03:17.0
What a beautiful vision...
03:22.0
03:24.0
Scotland united under Lanarkshire's flag.
03:31.0
03:35.8
Instead, we can look forward to Mary Gourlay forming a National Front caucus of Labour.
03:36.0
03:38.1
And boasting about illegally visiting vulnerable people during a fucking pandemic.
03:43.7
03:45.0
I'm resigning as Secretary.
