00:00.5
00:02.9
Sir, a few of the oldest living people’s birthdays are near.
00:03.5
00:07.0
Susannah Mushatt Jones will be 116 if she lives to see July 9.
00:07.5
00:11.2
Nabi Tajima’s 115th birthday will take place on August 4 if she makes it.
00:11.7
00:15.7
Other birthdays are far away as some supercentenarians just had them.
00:17.4
00:21.3
Like Jeralean Talley, who is the world’s oldest living person.
00:27.6
00:28.8
Jeralean Talley…
00:30.9
00:33.0
Jeralean Talley passed away yesterday at age 116.
00:33.1
00:35.9
The oldest living person is now Susannah Mushatt Jones.
00:51.2
00:58.8
Unless you were wowed at her lifespan as it was, you will leave.
01:12.9
01:14.5
What the fuck?!
01:14.6
01:17.6
Jeralean Talley is dead?!
01:18.8
01:23.2
She just turned 116, and was in very good health for her age!
01:25.2
01:27.0
She was able to walk with the help of a walker!
01:28.9
01:31.4
If she credited God to a long life,
01:31.5
01:34.3
and God limited the life of mankind to 120,
01:34.8
01:40.2
Jeralean was just 116, doesn’t that give her four more years to live, but no, she’s gone now?!
01:40.3
01:42.5
Sir, she was at least well past her 114th birthday…
01:42.6
01:46.1
So what? She seemed like she’d live well past 116!
01:46.2
01:48.2
She’s the only person from the first half of 1899 to live to see age 114.
01:48.8
01:51.7
She was able to use her legs at fucking 116…
01:52.0
01:54.1
UNLIKE MISAO OKAWA!
01:55.4
02:00.5
An age bubble collapse has to occur after no one born in the 1800s died in 2014…
02:00.6
02:03.8
Jeralean Talley is now the fourth from then to die in 2015?!
02:04.4
02:07.7
Will anyone born in the 1800s live to see 2016?
02:08.9
02:13.6
Or will this practically become a 1900s only world this year?
02:13.7
02:16.6
Not to mention me being from 1889…
02:17.2
02:21.5
There’s other people significant to me born in the 1800s, like Stalin!
02:27.2
02:36.4
Jeralean could still talk at 116, as well as sign her own name, and now she is gone from our lives!
02:42.9
02:47.7
IF GOOD HEALTH AND GOOD SHAPE DON’T SAVE PEOPLE FROM IMMINENT DEATH…
02:48.3
02:52.6
THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL SNACK ON ALL THE CHOCOLATE AND CHIPS IN THE WORLD LIKE GORING!
02:53.7
02:55.8
Which is in fact what the two longest lived people did.
02:56.1
02:59.2
Jeanne Calment ate chocolate every single week!
02:59.3
03:02.8
And Sarah Knauss had not just that, but potato chips and pretzels!
03:04.6
03:06.8
Don’t cry, we weren’t born in the 1800s.
03:14.6
03:16.5
Maybe it is good to eat food you like, even if they’re not healthy.
03:19.1
03:23.6
Susannah Mushatt Jones eats four strips of bacon…
03:25.5
03:26.1
Every morning…
03:31.5
03:33.3
And now she’s the WOP.
03:40.5
03:41.9
If she can have bacon…
03:42.6
03:46.0
And the two longest lived people can snack on chocolate…
03:46.3
03:48.8
Then I can chuck on cupcakes.
03:53.6
03:55.1
Please order me some.
