00:00.6
00:04.0
We are behind Schedule to deliver BE-4
00:04.1
00:05.5
Tory Bruno wants his engines
00:05.6
00:07.3
And there's virtually no progress on New Glenn
00:07.8
00:12.0
We've tried to copy the Falcon 9, but we are hardware poor.
00:12.1
00:16.2
And now SpaceX is building Starship, the largest rocket ever.
00:17.3
00:22.4
That's fine, we'll win the Lunar lander acquisition with my blue balls and get 6 billion dollars from NASA.
00:24.4
00:25.7
Jeff Who...
00:27.5
00:30.4
The blue balls..
00:31.4
00:33.1
The blue balls didn't get choosen by NASA
00:33.8
00:37.0
And now there's an article about how our corporate culture is terrible.
00:53.3
00:59.4
Everyone leave the room except for Bob Smith and anyone who hasn't been sexually harassed by management
01:13.3
01:14.3
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!
01:14.4
01:17.8
Why can't I get anything to orbit?!?!
01:19.0
01:24.1
I created Blue Origin to prove that my penis is large, thick and big!
01:25.4
01:27.5
What will the other billionaires think?
01:29.6
01:31.6
I will sue every living soul into oblivion!
01:31.7
01:34.1
Elon is mocking my tiny rocket new glenn with his big starship, abbreviated SS.
01:34.5
01:36.9
What else can I do besides lawsuits?!
01:37.0
01:40.6
I'M GONNA SUE THE EARTH FOR HAVING TO MUCH GRAVITY! AND THE MOON FOR BEING TOO FAR AWAY
01:40.7
01:42.5
Butt you can't sue yourself to the moon...
01:42.7
01:46.1
I'M GOING TO MAKE IT WORK! AND I WILL SUE EVERYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE!
01:46.4
01:48.5
But Jeff Who; shouldn't we just try to get to orbit instead?
01:49.0
01:52.6
I'm not going to be arsed to work on blue origin more than one wednesday afternoon a week.
01:52.7
01:55.0
DO I LOOK LIKE THAT FUCKING NERD ELON MUSK?!
01:55.8
02:00.5
I just want to rule the world! Prove that I have the biggest dick and is the smartest man alive!
02:00.6
02:03.8
I was going to make millions of people my slaves in space colonies and be remembered as space-Columbus!
02:04.3
02:09.1
My rockets would be the ultimate allegory for my penis that I definetely can get up!
02:09.4
02:11.4
Now my rocket can barely reach the fucking karman line.
02:11.6
02:13.5
I'm not even close to reach fucking orbit.
02:13.6
02:16.8
My rockets are nothing more than a pathetic joy ride for the mega rich.
02:17.6
02:21.9
Our rocket technology haven't surpassed that of soviet era missiles developed under Stalin.
02:27.3
02:29.3
I never studied rocket science.
02:30.5
02:33.0
I haven't read a single book. Not a single book on advanced physics.
02:33.4
02:36.9
But I cornered the market on internet retail.
02:41.0
02:42.3
Betrayed...
02:42.5
02:45.9
BY DICKLESS WOMEN WHO DOESN'T WANNA GET HARASSED AT THEIR WORKPLACE.
02:46.3
02:48.9
AND WAREHOUSE WORKERS WHO DOESN'T WANNA PEE IN BOTTLES.
02:49.1
02:54.0
With shit pay and terrible benefits.
02:54.5
02:56.5
I will make them pay.
02:57.0
02:59.1
They will pay with their blood
02:59.6
03:02.3
I live forever by forcing them to give me their blood
03:05.4
03:08.9
We can vote to unionize.
03:13.0
03:16.7
Maybe I can't build rockets.
03:18.8
03:23.3
Maybe it's not possible reach space with lawsuits alone..
03:25.6
03:29.6
Maybe being a rich asshole isn't enough.
03:31.7
03:35.3
The space race is over.
03:40.5
03:45.8
Everyone will laugh at my tiny brain and my small willy.
03:45.9
03:50.5
"Jeff Who?" They ask, as if they don't know who I am.
03:53.7
03:56.3
I will stop NASA from going to space.
