00:00.0
00:03.9
Good morning sir we have some news for you.
00:04.0
00:05.9
Putin's effort to seize Kyiv and Kharkiv is not going to plan.
00:07.5
00:12.0
Zelensky's troops have unexpectedly destroyed many of our tanks and jets.
00:12.1
00:15.5
Our paradroppers have also gotten killed in Kyiv.
00:16.9
00:21.8
Let's bomb all of Ukraine. That'll teach Zelensky a lesson.
00:24.2
00:25.7
Mein Fuhrer,
00:27.4
00:28.8
Volodymyr...
00:31.0
00:33.5
Volodymyr Zelensky refuse to surrender.
00:33.6
00:37.7
He vows to fight to the last man.
00:51.5
00:58.3
Anybody who still likes Putin and those Slavs, stay here. Everybody else can go.
01:12.8
01:14.2
PUTLER TOLD ME HE TAKE KIEV
01:14.3
01:17.5
THIS FUCKER TOLD ME HE TAKE IT ON THE FIRST DAY
01:18.0
01:24.0
TO THINK I PICKED THIS GUY TO CONTINUE MY UNFINISHED MISSION ON PLANET EARTH
01:24.9
01:28.1
I still cant believe history is repeating again...
01:29.7
01:31.5
HE TRICK ME!
01:31.6
01:34.0
THIS IDIOT HASN'T DONE SHIT IN 20 YEARS!
01:34.1
01:36.8
AND HE THINKS HE'S WORTHY OF MENTIONED IN THE SAME SENTENCE AS ME?
01:36.9
01:39.7
THIS PUSSY IS SOFTER THAN WINNIE FUCKING THE POOH
01:40.2
01:42.3
Mein Fuhrer. We can always beg for more money from Winnie to help poor Vlad-
01:42.8
01:46.0
YOU KNOW TOO WELL THIS GUY IS A LOST FUCKING CAUSE.
01:46.1
01:48.7
Mein Fuhrer, here's how Vladimir can still win
01:48.8
01:52.8
IVE BABIED HIM FOR DECADES
01:52.9
01:54.3
THIS GUY IS COOKED
01:55.5
02:01.4
I WISH FOR ONCE I WAS WRONG. FOR ONCE, JUST ONE TIME WHERE VLAD CAN STOP BEING SUCH AN IDIOT.
02:01.5
02:03.2
NOW THE NEWS MEDIA GONNA COMPARE THIS GUY TO ME
02:04.6
02:08.5
SOMEBODY OUT THERE GOING TO MAKE MEMES OF ME AGAIN
02:08.6
02:13.4
PUTIN TALKED SHIT ON THE FUCKING SOVIETS FOR HOURS, BUT ALL HE HAS PROVEN
02:13.5
02:16.4
...IS THAT HE'S WAY LESS COMPETENT THAN I EVER IMAGINED THE SOVIETS WERE...
02:17.1
02:21.3
THE GALLS ON THIS IMBECILE TO EVEN TALK ABOUT STALIN.
02:26.8
02:30.2
There's gotta be somebody better than Putin right.
02:30.3
02:33.4
We can go find Pooh bear in Hebei province.
02:33.5
02:36.3
That pussy is now our only hope.
02:41.0
02:42.4
Oh who am I joking.
02:42.5
02:47.3
RELYING ON SUBHUMANS MAKE ME SICK
02:49.3
02:52.2
THIS WORLD IS NOTHING LIKE BACK IN THE DAY
02:54.7
02:55.9
I can't believe I got my hopes up for fucking Putin.
02:56.0
02:59.4
FUCK THIS GODDAMN PLANET, ILL DO IT MYSELF
02:59.5
03:02.7
SOMEBODY FUCKING RESURRECT ME PLEASE
03:04.6
03:06.9
Dont worry, we are all very dead. This is just a meme.
03:14.2
03:16.4
Why can't I shape the world they way I want.
03:19.1
03:23.1
I guess the world will never change.
03:31.7
03:33.6
Back to my lonesome...
03:40.2
03:44.7
If you people think I am giving up stopping the plague that is democracy.
03:46.4
03:49.3
You couldn't be more wrong.
03:53.7
03:55.7
The time of National Socialism has yet to begin.
