00:00.0
00:02.1
(Grattan Street, Prahran - Dec 2019)
00:02.2
00:15.2
Mr Anderson, the results have come in from the series... We selected our strongest squad. After an initial loss in Hong Kong, we went to Dubai. The planned decider in Berlin may not go ahead...
00:18.0
00:21.5
No problem Bridgette. We have never lost in Dubai. The series must be level. We will win the decider in Berlin.
00:24.0
00:26.2
Mr Anderson...
00:31.0
00:36.3
Smith scored a maiden test century. We lost by ten wickets in Dubai. The series has ended 2-0 Mr Anderson.
00:52.5
01:00.2
Wiggins, West, Greaves, and Hagedorn. Leave immediately.
01:13.2
01:23.6
What the fuck happened?! How? Smith! How did Smith score a century? Its unbelievable in Dubai that could happen.
01:25.2
01:28.0
We have been totally ashamed.
01:29.2
01:37.1
Absolutely ashamed. At our own home ground. We had them on toast. Remi Hill and Franceseca O Hearn had them in all sorts.
01:37.2
01:40.3
And Jonathan Smith has never passed ten in a test match. TEN.
01:41.0
01:42.8
Mr Anderson we can always select Randy Anderson next time.
01:42.9
01:45.9
RANDY ANDERSON? ARE YOU THICK BRENNAN? FUCK ME - Hope has already beaten Canada once!
01:46.0
01:48.7
Mr Anderson, we have Annabelle Eastoe in the youth team to call up.
01:49.1
01:52.7
The youth team, you stupid boy Brennan. We are finished. No match in Berlin.
01:53.0
01:54.4
Its over Brennan.
01:55.4
02:07.5
We will be coaching the fucking Red Cliffs Under 15s side after this performance. They may as well bring in Sean Elicott in as Manager after our display.
02:09.2
02:22.1
I still can't believe we lost in Dubai. What a disgrace. We should resign. Smith isn't even their best batter, Lynch wasnt even available and we still couldn't beat them. Fuck me!
02:27.1
02:36.6
All I wanted was to beat Lynch and Hope. That's what we have been training for all year. And now we have lost all respect. Because of Jonathan Smith!
02:42.2
02:49.1
With his Yorkshire accent and money belt in Dubai, he's given us a fucking lesson.
02:49.2
02:54.0
Next youl be telling me that the Little Creatures girl has joined their squad. Or that the Life XI has been banned by the ICC.
02:54.2
03:02.5
Well actually that might be a good thing, given that fucking shambolic display in the last few weeks. Lets all wear blue chinos and celebrate the opposition.
03:05.2
03:08.1
Don't worry, you don't have to spill black bean sauce on them.