00:00.5
00:03.3
My dad said I could use his cargo ties.
00:04.0
00:05.5
And Fritz thinks his mom is going to let him borrow the truck.
00:05.6
00:07.5
We'll just have to pay for gas.
00:08.0
00:12.0
We have no information whether the showers will be operational.
00:12.1
00:15.5
But there are reports of fire ants here, here, and here.
00:17.5
00:19.0
Don't worry about ants.
00:19.1
00:21.5
We'll camp with the royals. They won't get ants.
00:24.7
00:26.5
Your Grace...
00:27.5
00:28.5
The event...
00:30.1
00:33.5
It's still not an SCA event.
00:34.0
00:36.0
It seems unlikely it will ever be an SCA event again.
00:53.0
00:58.5
If you have ever said you can't use something because it isn't period, get out of my sight.
01:13.0
01:15.0
JESUS COCKBITING CHRIST!
01:15.2
01:17.7
This is all I have!
01:18.7
01:23.3
My teeth are rotten. I have a demeaning, part-time job. And I live in my parent's basement!
01:25.2
01:28.0
But that big idiot out there carries my shit around...
01:29.2
01:31.0
...when I wear a belt that makes me look like Michael Jackson!
01:31.5
01:34.0
Now this independent crap.
01:34.7
01:37.7
I can't get away with shit.
01:37.8
01:40.5
I can't kick anybody off the field!
01:40.6
01:42.7
Your Grace, we can still go and have fun!
01:42.8
01:46.3
Asshole marshals won't do what I tell them! What if the other side wins!
01:46.5
01:48.8
But, Your Grace, it's still living history.
01:48.9
01:52.0
Did you really just say that? You, who never made squire?
01:53.0
01:54.5
Fuck history!
01:56.0
01:57.7
I wear underarmour.
01:57.8
02:00.5
Remember that from history class, you dickhead?
02:00.6
02:03.5
Or my propane grill? Or your cigarettes?!
02:04.5
02:08.0
I do this so I can push people around...
02:08.7
02:13.5
...and get away with it because I'm a goddamn peer.
02:14.0
02:16.7
I can't be nobody there too.
02:17.5
02:19.5
Now I'm going to end up camped next to some jerkwad...
02:20.3
02:22.1
...like Aveloc!
02:27.0
02:29.0
And now everybody's got goddamn herpes.
02:30.5
02:34.0
It's like a goddamn vagina minefield.
02:34.5
02:36.5
Makes me almost think we should start our own medieval club.
02:41.0
02:42.5
My own club...
02:43.0
02:47.5
...the point of which is that I get to sleep with everybody's girlfriend!
02:48.5
02:53.0
And I don't have to traverse fucking North America!
02:54.0
02:56.0
It's like that town from The Hills Have Eyes.
02:56.5
02:59.8
And those damned belly dancing sea cows!
03:00.0
03:02.5
Who the hell ever heard of a Native American Irish belly dancer fairy?!
03:04.7
03:07.5
We'll go to shooting and fuck stuff up later.
03:14.2
03:16.3
But that skinny, blonde chick is the worst of them.
03:19.2
03:23.3
I swear she goes and vandalizes the place when nobody's there.
03:25.5
03:26.8
Fix your cuirass.
03:31.5
03:33.8
And your gorget's crooked.
03:39.7
03:46.2
Maybe we could do the World War 2 thing instead.
03:46.5
03:49.0
Anything where I get to kill people, I guess.
03:53.7
03:56.0
But I still get to nail your girlfriend.
