We have spent the rest of our campaign budget...

on mini billboards deployed at key intersections throughout the city.

And our best sign man has been on Erie Street every day for two months.

Good. Now tell me what John Irish has planned for our decisive TV Ad buy.

Mr. Mayor...

Irish...

Irish held a fund-raiser for your opponent.

You have no money left for advertising.

I want everybody to leave except Reinbolt, Zalesky, Torres, and Monroe.

I don't need television advertising!

We can step up our bowling alley program!

And put our spouses, (MUFFLED) children and the elderly into the busiest streets for "Traffics"...

the likes of which have never been seen!

(MUFFLED) They need the exercise anyway!

I am tired of the old, weak and flabby people of this campaign holding us back!

I'll bet Wade doesn't have this problem at his Traffics!

Mr. Mayor, Wade's people don't do traffics...

And that's why they will LOSE!

Signs and Traffics win elections!

Mr. Mayor, standing in traffic is dangerous and doesn't work. It's madness!

No. Madness is being in a close race because you wouldn't listen to my ideas!

Matt's MySpace poll said dog owners were the key to victory.

So where are the Carty Hearts Dogs pet sweaters I was promised? I was told we ordered those weeks ago!

I'm telling you, voters don't trust cat owners!

(MUFFLED) Adlai Stevenson lost to Ike because he owned a Persian...

(MUFFLED) and I lost to Lud Ashley in 1974 because I had a Tabby named Walter Cron-Cat.

This is 1974 ALL. OVER. AGAIN. Except this time I REFUSE to lose.

From now on, I'm calling the shots! Somebody start the recorder...

First, what have people missed most during the last four years? ME! People want more of ME!

Matt's poll said so.

I will loan the campaign more money...but only if we can get those dog sweaters before the 4th!

And why has't the Free Press endorsed me yet? Bob, you told me it was a done deal...

Dominating the media is key...

I need to make the rounds to the A.M. radio stations...Theresa and June say it's the only way to reach the black and youth vote!

Keep it together, June. We can always retire...

Is it me, or has somebody soiled themselves?

I mean...

This headquarters has always had such bad ventilation...

But this...

...is simply...criminal.

I have never seen a campaign thrive on only coffee, bran, and soft foods...it's just not right.

Thank God it's almost over.