Mein Fuhrer, we have received reports today

—and have seen a pretty incredible commercial, frankly—

that LEGO has a new Star Wars
Ultimate Collector Series AT-AT set now at LEGO Stores.

I’m sure it has Power Functions, and it can’t cost more than
the second, losers’ version of the UCS Falcon, right?!

Mein Führer...

Technically...

Technically it’s a walker, but it doesn’t walk—
no Power Functions—

and I’m afraid to say, it’s $800.

All you lucky bastards who bought the first UCS Millennium Falcon before I got into LEGO, leave the room.

LEGO is always pulling this bullshit!
I just shelled out $250 for the goddamn Home Alone set!

My Deutsche Bank card is maxed-out as it is!

[muffled] And all of Eva’s stupid Friends sets.

What a waste of money.
Absolutely ZERO R.O.I. on those sets!

We’re never going to be able to retire
on a bunch of pink and purple bricks!

Star Wars and Modulars—
that’s where the real money is!

Mein Führer, they are just plastic blocks!

How many times do I have to tell you?!

It’s BRICKS, and they are going to double in value, minimum!

But Mein Führer, you’ve opened the boxes.
You’ve played with them!

Then I will have to buy two!

You want that!?

I can’t afford ONE,
but you want me to buy TWO!?

I knew I should have never started collecting
those damn Chinese sets!

It was just a cute New Year’s Eve Dinner set,
but then dragons and lions—

Do you know how many freaking holidays the Chinese have!?
My credit card statement can tell you!

It’s a lot!
And it’s bad enough that they’re all made in China now.

More and more expensive, with cheaper and cheaper quality.

[Rant is losing steam]

[Hitler pounds chest]

[Quieter exclamation]

[Ramping up again]

[Something about Eva and the Big Bang Theory set]
That show is shit!

Nevermind him—he watches CSI: Miami.

That’s it, guys—I’m done with LEGO.
This level of spending is simply unsustainable.

They win.

[Somethign else somber]

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