00:00.0
00:07.7
(Various Mario and Luigi whooping noises)
00:08.0
00:12.0
(In Mario's voice) And you know, sometimes Bowser is not such a bad guy
00:12.1
00:14.6
(In Luigi's voice) No no no, Bowser is a cunt
00:14.7
00:15.1
But sometimes-
00:15.2
00:16.8
Bowser is a stupid cunt
00:16.9
00:18.5
What are you thinking Mario?
00:18.6
00:19.7
Are you stupid?
00:19.8
00:24.8
Sometimes, Bowser just wanted a little bit of pussy, you know? And it's okay with me
00:24.9
00:28.8
You know, it's just a sexual thing. It's not an emotional thing, it's okay
00:29.6
00:32.8
He just wanted a little bit of pussy. It's not a big deal
00:32.9
00:35.4
(Normal voice) It's not a big fucking deal
00:35.5
00:38.0
(Normal voice) Yeah no, I feel you dude. I feel you. (George) Jeez
00:38.1
00:44.7
That looks very nice. (Ian) You know the thing I like about mushrooms Mario? (George) What do you like about mushrooms Luigi?
00:44.8
00:52.0
They smell like Daisy pussy. (George) Oh! Is Daisy pussy out for you?
00:52.1
00:58.2
(Ian chuckles weakly) Not so much these days but since I have the mushrooms, (oh!) not so bad
00:58.3
01:00.0
She gonna trip real good, huh?
01:00.1
01:01.7
That's right, Mario
01:01.8
01:03.1
(Various whooping sounds)
01:03.2
01:04.5
(Cries out)
01:06.6
01:15.4
Mario, you dropped one! Brother, come back! Brother, my bag is full, pick up your mushroom
01:15.5
01:25.3
Mario, what's wrong? (Sad music plays as George sobs) Mario...
01:25.9
01:33.5
(Screaming) Why? (Sobbing as Max laughs behind the camera)
01:33.6
01:39.8
Things will never be the same again. (Ian) The mushroom is right here, Mario! (George sobbing) You have not lost anything!
01:39.9
01:45.5
He's trying to (unintelligible)! (Ian) Look at all the mushrooms we have Mario, you cannot be so sad!
01:45.6
01:53.6
It's terminal 5! (Ian) Yes, we are in zone 5, Mario. (George) No, it's- (George and Max burst into laughter)
01:53.7
01:57.7
Eat up Mario, eat up. You have not eaten at all today
01:57.8
02:02.4
I cannot keep escaping reality with these drugs! I went to rehab twice!
02:02.5
02:07.9
Oh Mario! Look at that! It is a question block! Look at it!
02:08.0
02:14.1
I have a question for God... (screaming) Why?
02:14.2
02:23.4
(George sobbing and question block sound effects) God! God, just take me!
02:23.5
02:29.7
Mario, I got the block! There's probably something really good inside! (George continues to sob and wail)
02:29.8
02:43.3
Come on Mario, it's for you. Mario, don't be such a pessimist. There could be something really nice in there and you have no idea because you no open!
02:44.8
02:51.0
Oh God (Groans and pants)
02:54.2
02:56.0
(Screaming and Mario game over sound effect)
02:57.0
03:05.1
Oh hey! That's pretty good Mario, you got another mushroom
03:05.2
03:14.8
There is only pain! (x2) (Ian) Come on, Mario, don't be so sad! There is so much to live for!
03:14.9
03:27.7
(Cheery music as George blubbers) Mario, we have so much to do! (Screaming) Why?
03:27.8
03:32.8
Come on Mario, let's go the castle, have a little fun
03:32.9
03:46.8
(Cheery music)
03:49.6
04:01.8
(Upbeat drums)
04:01.9
04:06.2
Yeah? I go bananas for that pussy
04:24.5
04:35.0
Yeah. Yeah, Goldie! Goldie? Got Goldie? Yeah, I got her
04:35.1
04:42.3
You want her? Meet me at the old hill on 5. Yeah
04:43.1
04:51.6
What's that? Donkey Kong? Donkey Kong has stolen Princess Peach! (George exclaims) We have to go! (George) Ok!
05:00.6
05:06.0
(Cheery music)
05:06.1
05:15.4
(Max grunting) Fuck... Mario! (Laughs) I fucking see him
05:15.5
05:22.2
(Donkey Kong monkey noises) Come on, Donkey Kong, give us all you have, little man!
05:22.3
05:25.5
(Boss music and monkey noises)
05:43.5
05:48.0
(Hopping sound effects)
05:54.6
06:01.7
(Celebratory Donkey Kong music)
06:01.8
06:03.8
(Monkey noises)
06:16.2
06:21.3
Yeah, fuck off, you filthy plumbers. Peach's pussy's mine
06:23.2
06:32.5
(Ian groans and Mario exclaims) I think I fractured it, Mario!
06:33.4
06:43.7
(Choking sounds) Mario! (x3) Please don't Mario! Please! (x2)
06:43.8
06:46.0
(Sobbing) Say hello to Mom!
06:52.8
06:54.7
You killed Luigi!
07:03.2
07:11.4
(Both screaming) No! Mario, this is not a good idea! Let's go!
07:19.4
07:23.2
Mario! We got to go, come on!
07:23.3
07:34.0
(Both clamoring)
07:34.1
07:38.9
I got you now, faggots. (Banana throwing sound effects)
07:40.4
07:49.6
Oh Luigi, I think this is the end! (Ian) I think you are right Mario! It is-
07:49.7
07:55.3
Wait, Mario! Mario, it's a fire flower!
07:55.4
08:00.2
(Power up music)
08:00.3
08:05.1
I have the power! Take this, you big monkey!
08:05.7
08:06.8
(Chad screaming)
08:06.9
08:07.6
(Ian) Go in the water
08:13.6
08:20.6
(Triumphant music and Chad crying out)
08:20.7
08:25.9
(Chad) That really fucking lit up! No, don't fucking throw it at me, cunt
08:26.0
08:31.2
That burnt me. It fucking burnt me, cunt. I'm never filming with you ever again, that's the last
08:31.3
08:33.8
Come on, Mario, let's go get the princess
08:33.9
09:30.0
(Somber outro music)
