00:00.0
00:02.2
There is good news from the film division.
00:02.3
00:07.1
The new Willy Wonka movie is ready for distribution.
00:07.2
00:12.0
One matinee and two evening showings per day will be shown as per your orders.
00:12.1
00:16.0
Theaters here here and here will also have the new V2 Victory Bar stocked in the snack bars.
00:16.1
00:21.8
Wonderfull! Now the glory of the Reich will be seen by the whole world. Gene Wilder will continue to represent the blood of our nation.
00:21.9
00:27.1
Mein Furher... Steiner...
00:28.1
00:32.0
Steiner.., ordered the lead to be played by Johnny Depp.
00:32.1
00:36.9
He is infatuated by his abilities.
00:49.2
00:57.6
Will all extras, stunt doubles and lighting technicians please leave.
01:09.2
01:11.6
JOHNNY "FREAKIN'" DEPP?
01:11.7
01:15.1
You must be insane! He cannot play our national hero.
01:15.2
01:20.0
He isn't BLOND! He isn't Handsome! And he most certainly isn't athletic!
01:20.1
01:24.0
Could you imagine him taking the tumble that Gene Wilder took in the opening scene?
01:24.1
01:29.2
He would end up in a PILE. A PILE OF DUNG!
01:30.0
01:35.8
I explicitly ordered Gene Wilder to be cast in the remake.
01:35.9
01:37.7
Johnny Depp is all the talk right now..
01:37.8
01:41.6
My orders were crystal clear. There can be no misunderstanding.
01:41.7
01:44.4
Mein Furher, Tim Burton insisted that we..
01:44.5
01:49.3
Do you think I care about Tim Burton? When I find out which one of you is resposible for this.
01:49.4
01:55.8
You will be made an example of. You will find out what happens to TRAITORS!
01:55.9
01:58.7
You will rue the day you decided to disobey ORDERS!
01:58.8
02:01.7
ORDERS that came from ME!
02:01.8
02:06.6
Destroy all prints of this new release!
02:06.7
02:11.5
I want every copy of this movie taken to the incinerator and burned!
02:11.6
02:16.4
I don't care if it only runs every other day, light it!
02:20.4
02:25.5
That man has a head made of cabbage. He has continued to undermine me at every opportunity.
02:25.6
02:30.4
I know acting talent, Wilder is a God.
02:34.1
02:39.3
Steiner.. I order immediately that he be removed from the propaganda division,
02:39.4
02:44.2
and be placed on the Russian front. As a TARGET!
02:44.3
02:49.1
He will be lashed to the front of the lead tank on our next Blitzkreig.
02:49.2
02:54.0
And he will be wearing a DUNCE HAT!
02:55.0
02:59.8
Don't cry, I also liked Edward Scissorhands.
03:05.0
03:14.5
He must have been planted here by the British. Only they could be so devious.
03:21.9
03:24.7
A trick. That's all.
03:30.8
03:35.7
Gene Wilder could outdo Depp by simply raising an eybrow and smiling enigmatically.
03:35.8
03:40.6
He would not even have to speak I am telling you.
03:43.0
03:45.5
I want to be left alone..
