00:00.4
00:03.6
Sir, we’ll discuss which people born in the 1800s could celebrate birthdays this year.
00:03.7
00:07.3
Jeralean Talley will celebrate her 114th birthday on May 23.
00:07.4
00:11.5
Jiroemon Kimura is one of two people still living and born before 1899.
00:11.6
00:16.0
If he lives on to April 19, he’ll be the first man ever to reach age 116.
00:17.6
00:21.5
There is actually one celebrating her 114th birthday now: Maria Redaelli-Granoli.
00:31.0
00:33.8
Today would have been Maria Redaelli’s 114th birthday.
00:33.9
00:35.5
Except she died yesterday at the age of 113.
00:52.7
00:59.0
Please leave, unless you are in disbelief that she didn’t reach 114.
01:13.0
01:14.4
SHE DIED AT 113?!
01:15.2
01:18.0
THE THIRD OLDEST LIVING PERSON DIED AT 113?!
01:18.8
01:23.0
First Elsie Thompson dies just before 114 and now Maria Redaelli-Granoli?!
01:25.8
01:26.9
And just one measly day shy of 114!
01:29.2
01:31.1
She was in really good shape for her age!
01:31.2
01:34.0
She was just recently photographed with a chocolate egg!
01:34.7
01:37.3
It had a jersey on it that said MARIA 114...
01:38.0
01:40.8
much like the jersey that said MARIA 113!
01:40.9
01:42.5
Sir, she fell three days ago which might have caused such a sudden death…
01:42.6
01:46.1
Horseshit! She seemed to be in great shape after the fall!
01:46.2
01:48.2
Falls have caused a lot of senior citizens’ deaths.
01:48.6
01:51.6
She seemed fine and her family prepared to celebrate her birthday today!
01:52.6
01:54.1
AND NOW THERE’S NO NEED FOR THE EGG!
01:55.7
02:00.2
She was doing extremely well for her age, she lived on her own and could walk without an aid of any kind!
02:00.3
02:03.5
She was still able to feed and cook for herself!
02:04.1
02:08.0
Who’s next?! Jeralean Talley? Susannah Jones? Bernice Madigan? James Sisnett?
02:08.9
02:13.8
Soledad Mexia? Evelyn Kozak? Mitsue Nagasaki?
02:13.9
02:16.8
Is anyone ever going to turn 114 this year?!
02:17.1
02:21.5
Even Stalin wouldn’t be surprised if there were people that would!
02:27.0
02:29.0
Maria’s family was looking forward to her birthday...
02:30.0
02:33.9
which would’ve been an amazing one that marks another milestone…
02:34.3
02:36.0
And the day right before she kicks the bucket!
02:41.1
02:41.8
Last month…
02:42.7
02:47.8
Elsie Thompson died two weeks shy of turning 114 as well!
02:48.4
02:52.5
Louisiana Hines also would’ve been turning 114 this month but she died in February!
02:54.1
02:55.4
Which means no one turns 114 in April.
02:56.3
02:59.1
Jeralean Talley is the only person still living from the first half of 1899!
02:59.5
03:02.6
So her dying at 113 would mean none of these making it past!
03:05.0
03:07.2
Don’t cry, more people will live to see 114. :(
03:14.9
03:16.4
Maybe the fall was actually fatal…
03:18.9
03:23.3
And a walking aid would’ve saved her life.
03:31.6
03:33.3
The birthday is canceled.
03:40.6
03:42.1
Ah fuck it.
03:42.6
03:48.6
People about half her age like me tend to be better anyway. They’re also more likely to do some stuff she did.
03:53.8
03:55.0
Let’s try to move on from this.
