00:00.5
00:03.2
Fuhrer Patel, guten tag, you have several new patients
00:04.0
00:05.6
There is a new consult at Heritage
00:05.7
00:07.5
As well as 4 chronic Back Wadja's at Dearborn
00:08.0
00:12.0
As well as 18 pending pages from Dalal on 7 North
00:12.1
00:15.5
Rakesh has also not been let out of his basket yet today either
00:19.1
00:21.9
Alert the on call resident to see all of them and call me
00:24.8
00:26.5
Fuhrer Patel
00:27.5
00:28.5
You no longer have...
00:31.0
00:33.5
You no longer have Resident Coverage on the Spine Squad
00:34.0
00:36.0
At either Dearborn, Anapolis, or the Taj
00:53.1
00:58.6
Everyone besides Roderick, Rakesh, and Brian please leave now
01:13.1
01:15.0
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED
01:15.3
01:17.8
WHO TOOK AWAY ALL OUR SPINE TROOPER FREE LABOR
01:18.7
01:23.3
Who the fuck is going to monitor drain outputs every 4 hours? Who is going to keep our patients in narcotic comas?
01:25.1
01:28.0
Who is going to manage the mind-numbingly stupid nursing calls?
01:29.0
01:31.0
Sorry Dalal
01:31.5
01:34.4
I swear if I get an SSU "Any Orders?" page I will burn this hospital to the ground
01:34.7
01:37.7
I have enough on my plate already trying to make sure my third year spine fellow
01:37.8
01:40.5
Doesn't harm anyone when he operated that one time by himself!
01:40.6
01:42.8
Fuhrer Patel, I have attempted several proceudres on my own...
01:42.9
01:46.3
I wouldn't let you kypho my worst enemy Dr.Fishgrund without direct supervision
01:46.5
01:48.8
Fuhrer Patel, I make sure every complication is blamed immediately on the residents
01:48.9
01:52.1
YOU DUMB FUCK! The residents are gone! Who is going to take the fall?
01:53.0
01:54.5
Or feed you your weekly mouse?
01:56.0
01:57.7
I finished college and medical school in 6 years
01:57.9
02:00.5
And you can't finish a fellowship in 3!
02:00.6
02:03.5
At least Dr. Claybrooks has Danny waiting on him hand and foot
02:04.5
02:08.0
He gets him gloves, he positions his patients
02:08.7
02:13.4
And provides sensual massages as needed while getting to play surgeon
02:14.0
02:16.8
Even though his hope of Claybrooks loving him back is in vain!
02:17.6
02:21.8
And now I can't even use my own favorite fucking spine toys thanks to Comrade Fishgrund
02:27.0
02:29.0
At least I can make sure my incident reports
02:30.5
02:34.0
Are followed up on and sedate my patients unconscious personally
02:34.5
02:36.5
And I have begun to train Brian in the way of the Spine
02:41.0
02:42.5
On the other hand...
02:43.0
02:47.6
Brian's biggest ambition is he wants to "be as good as Angela one day"
02:48.5
02:53.0
Whose biggest contribution is teaching junior residents to box out in the OR
02:53.9
02:56.0
While being called "honey" and "buddy"
02:56.5
02:59.8
But what does she ever do with patients on the floor!
03:00.1
03:02.5
Can someone like her manage constant 12/10 pain?
03:04.7
03:07.5
Don't worry, you wouldn't know where to find a patient on the floor if you tried
03:14.3
03:16.3
I guess the only option
03:19.3
03:23.3
Is to use the new Botsford Stormtroopers
03:25.5
03:26.8
To charm Rakesh daily
03:30.5
03:33.8
During the second 3 years of his spine fellowship
03:40.8
03:46.2
I am sure they can be taught the goosestep
03:46.5
03:49.0
And to monitor drain output every 4 hours
03:53.6
03:56.0
You win Emperor Fishgrund
