00:00.0
00:03.9
So one of my GM's called me over and says 'hey- look at this guy Sickidan's profile'.
00:06.3
00:15.8
It's some idiot in Kansas with three autistic friends (fat). No idea why he's with them- possibly sympathy.
00:17.2
00:20.7
He thinks he can get to Grand Master with them
00:30.7
00:36.8
This poor guy has to drag his retarded friends- [chokes]
00:36.9
00:39.1
two who [chokes again]
00:39.2
00:44.7
can't even get into Diamond and another who can only play two heroes.
00:44.8
00:51.4
Through every game while also stopping some pub from insta-locking Abathur
00:51.5
00:53.7
And he has to do this every game
00:53.9
00:57.5
AND THE POOR GUY STILL THINKS HE CAN MAKE IT TO GRAND MASTER
00:57.6
01:04.1
ONE OF HIS FRIENDS ONLY PLAYS TANKS BUT DOESNT OWN LEORIC
01:04.2
01:09.0
AND HAD TO GOOGLE WHAT PEEL MEANT
01:09.1
01:11.3
[pulls up Sickidan's profile]
01:15.0
01:26.7
THIS GUYS BEST CHANCE WAS WHEN HE WAS PLAYING WITH A BIPOLAR GAY GUY WHO WOULD STOP MID GAME TO PM HIS TEAMMATES
01:26.8
01:33.2
[Pulls up Seio ranked win-rate]
01:33.3
01:38.1
This fucking guy has to ask his pubs every game to not go double mage
01:38.2
01:43.0
AND WE MAKE SURE THEY DO IT
01:43.1
01:44.3
No but in all seriousness
01:44.4
01:49.2
We are very powerful and are actively making sure Sickidan does not get into Grand Master
01:49.3
01:49.8
[pulls out note from Chris Metzen]
01:49.9
01:54.7
"Fuck em" -C.M
01:54.8
01:59.6
WE TURNED OFF THE BALANCE FOR HIS MATCH MAKING
01:59.7
02:04.5
It fucking gives him Bronze players against Rank 1 Grand Masters
02:09.1
02:22.3
AND THEN WE, AND THEN WE DOCK HIM PERSONAL ADJUSTMENT POINTS [chokes again]
02:22.4
02:24.3
WE HAVE POST-IT NOTES ALL OVER THE OFFICE
02:24.4
02:26.1
SAYING 'IF CHAD GETS TOO CLOSE'
02:26.2
02:27.3
START PUTTING HIM UP AGAINST KOREANS
02:27.4
02:28.6
BUT CHANGE THE NAMES TO SOMETHING ENGLISH
02:28.8
02:30.4
And this works?
02:30.5
02:35.3
Every time- he just thinks he has BAD LUCK
02:38.0
02:39.8
HIS FRIENDS ARE SO FUCKING BAD HE HAS NO IDEA
02:39.9
02:41.4
HIS ONE FRIEND CAME BACK FOR GARROSH
02:41.5
02:43.5
SO WE STARTED MAKING SURE HE GOT BANNED
02:47.4
02:49.6
*wipes head with Chris Metzen note*
02:49.7
02:53.4
Oh shit I ruined it- it's okay though we have that poor guy on lock
02:57.2
02:58.5
You mentioned he plays Gazlowe?
02:58.6
03:00.0
Oh yeah, so this poor guy has a 92% win rate
03:00.1
03:02.1
with Gazlowe...
03:02.2
03:04.8
So we're taking him out next patch
03:04.9
03:09.7
What's he going to do play Probius?
03:09.8
03:14.6
Oh god I love this job
03:15.1
03:18.1
But yeah he thinks he can get to Grand Master
03:24.1
03:30.2
I will be fucking dead before I let him
03:30.3
03:32.3
[laughs assuredly]
03:32.4
03:35.6
I swear to god I'll come over and cut his ethernet cable if I have to
