哦喲！好痔瘡疼啊！跛足難行，經年不出門。卑田院甲長，所任信非輕，信非輕。 My! These piles are killing me! As a cripple, walking is difficult for me, I rarely leave my school.

啊自家，卑田院裡頭兒腦兒，蘇州阿大便是。 As the principal, my tasks are not easy, not easy.Well, I am A-1 of Suzhou, the head and brains of the begging school.

慣收疲聾廢疾，鰥寡孤獨。 I am used to taking in people who are deaf, sick, with no support, all kinds of stuff.

哪裡曉得我個阿二自說自話，馱仔個鄭元和轉來，勿教俚本事，只叫俚吃飯， My right-hand man, A-2, without asking me, brought him back, Taught him nothing, but fed him.

吃得個小鬼肥頭胖耳，日日拿仔本書，走出“子曰”，走進“子曰”。 Now this kid looks fat and healthy. Every day he carries a book, Walking here and there, mumbling “Confucius,” “Confucius.”

我想卑田院勿是個養豬的場所， 且讓我拿阿二叫出來，搭俚商量商量，早為之計。 I don’t think my begging school is fit for raising confused pigs like him. Let me get A-2 to come out. We need to come up with a plan for this kid.

二倌奈丟落裡？阿二快些答我滾出來呀！啊呀來了，啊呀來了！ Where are you, A-2, my vice principal? Answer me and tumble out, quick! Here I am, here I am!

薄藝隨身，弄蛇弄猴猻，終日酩酊，濁酒滿瓢吞，濁酒滿瓢吞。 With some skills I can perform tricks with snakes and monkeys. Always drunk, I enjoy gulping down rough liquor, rough liquor that fills my mouth.

大作揖！呸，奈個叫花子，討飯呸！ I bow to you, Principal! Pah! You beggar, are you begging me for food?

呀，自古道，人將禮樂為先，樹將花果為園。 Hey, as the saying goes,“Courtesy is the first principle in treating other people, just as trees in the orchard must bear fruit.”

我才出來，深深作個揖，老大長，老大短。你開口一個叫花子，閉口討飯呸。 I just came out, gave you a low bow, called you the principal.But you opened your mouth, cursing me like a beggar begging for food.

我是叫花子，難道你不也是一個叫花子？啊喲，俚還有道理！ I’m a beggar all right, but are you not as well?Whoa. How dare you talk back to me!

我問奈，為啥自說自話，馱仔個鄭元和轉來，勿拿我卑田院甲長放奈眼裡。 Let me ask you: Why did you decide to bring back this Zheng Yuanhe,Without even asking me, the principal of our begging school?

奈想謀王篡位，搶班奪權呢啥？A 2: 哦喲，我說為啥個事情，原來是為小鄭那個奴才。 Are you planning to take over my position and rule the school? Oh, I was wondering what you were steamed about! It’s because of this kid, little Zheng.

奈叫俚出來，問問俚看，俚肯學我個行業，卑田院讓俚蹲下去。 Tell him to come out and ask him: If he is willing to learn our trade, he can stay in our school.

要是勿肯，搭我趕仔出去！看來我家老大真個生氣了。 If he is not, get him out of here! It looks like our principal is really mad.

氣死老夫寡人也！ 老大，我跟你調笑的，不要為了小鄭這個末才生氣。 I am furious! Principal, I was just joking around. Please don’t be so angry about little Zheng.

我現在去叫他出來。他要是肯學我們這個行業，我呢要那哼那哼丟， Let me call him out. If he is willing to learn our trade, I will give him some “naheng naheng diu”;

要是不肯學我們這個行業，也要那哼那哼丟。老大，可是麼？ If he is not willing to learn, I will also give him some ““naheng naheng diu.” What do you think, Principal?

奈老早就說各個話，省得老娘家我動氣哉。我說的不錯嘛！ If you told me this earlier, I wouldn’t be so angry. My plan is not too bad!

咦，奈竟敢搭我並排坐哉！ 我還坐不得呀？ Hey, how dare you sit right next to me? Why? Why can’t I?

奈還勿到格身份呢。 叫花子還有什麼身份？ You don’t have the proper title yet. Why does a beggar need a title?

叫俚出來。 哦哦，小鄭啊，小鄭跑出來！ 哦，來了！ Get him out. Okay. Little Zheng, get over here! Coming!

死裡復逃生，卑田院聊寄殘生。 二位甲長拜揖。 Having escaped death, I now pass my life in the begging school. I submit myself to the two heads of the school.

給你一記嘗嘗。一出來就動了我老娘家的氣。 老大為甚生氣？ Two “hits”? Let me give you one right away. Just the sight of you makes me mad. Why are you so angry, Principal?

我搭奈兩個人討飯，三個人吃。啥會打仔俚夾帳哉。 Two of us beg food for three people to share. When did I ever hit him with my stick?

什麼？他是這樣講的？待我去問他一聲。小鄭！怎麼？ What? What did the principal mean? Let me ask Little Zheng. Little Zheng!What is it?

我跟老大兩個人討飯，三個人吃，怎的打了你夾帳了？ The principal and I beg food for we three to share. When did we ever hit you with our sticks?

不是啊！我是稱呼二位是一甲之長。 哈哈！ 做啥，做啥？ No, no. I just addressed you as heads of the school. Ha! What? What?

老大，你聽錯了。他稱呼我們卑田院裡的頭兒腦兒，頂兒尖兒，茶壺蓋兒，王八蛋兒，狗尾巴草兒，一甲之長啊！ You heard it wrong, Principal. He called us the head and brain, the tops, the tips,The lids of teapots, the bastards, the wiggling grass, the two heads of the school!

啊喲，看奈格樣式，勿消秤得，連皮帶骨二斤四兩。甚的我這樣輕？ My, you take yourself so lightly, I think you are no heavier than two jin and four liang.Why do you think I am so light?

輕骨頭叫花子！ 不要瞎說！小鄭，跑過來！ A beggar who thinks very little of himself! Nonsense! Little Zheng, get over here!

我說小鄭，你到我們卑田院裡頭來，你要曉得， I say: Little Zheng, now you are in our school and there are things you need to know:

我們老大他是蘇州人，蘇州人最小氣， Our Principal is from Suzhou, and people from Suzhou are very stingy.

不像我揚州二伯伯，疏財仗義，樂善好施。 Unlike me, I’m from Yangzhou, I like to share what I have, do what is right, and help people out.

今天你到底肯不肯學我們這個行業？ 這個，學生坐而食之，自覺惶恐。 Tell us now, do you want to learn our trade, or not? This... your humble student sits around and contributes nothing, which shames him greatly.

噯，啊哈！臭煞未定，還要惶恐，牛皮哄哄得，趕他出去。 Eh? What? A young kid you are, and you think we shame you greatly,Talking like a big shot. Let’s send him away!

阿二，有話慢慢說。 小鄭，我搭奈說，奈千萬不要看輕我格個行業， Calm down, A-2, let me talk to him. Little Zheng, let me tell you, don’t look down on our trade.

常言說的好：三百六十行，行行出狀元。奈只要專心學下去，照樣可以討娘子，造房子，養兒子， As the saying goes, “There are top scholars in every trade.”As long as you are willing to learn, you can take a wife, build a house, raise some kids.

抱孫子，事業有成格。 這……學生願學！ You will surely have some grandchildren and a good career. This... your humble student is willing to learn!

阿二啊，俚肯學個哉。 好好好，來來來，來拜老大為師。 A-2, he is willing to learn! Good! Come, bow to the principal and ask him to become your master.

啊喲，我老哉。 老當益壯。 勿，勿，少者當受其師。 Oh, I am too old. The older, the stronger. No, no, the younger should be the master

不敢不敢。龍頭屬老成。 豈敢，科場發少年。 No, no, leadership belongs to the old and wise. No, the younger excels in exams.

不敢不敢，太公八十遇文王。 豈敢，甘羅十二為丞相。 No no, Taigong was appointed prime minister by King Wen at the age of eighty. No no, Ganluo was twelve when he was appointed prime minister.

甘蔗老頭甜。 梅子青格酸。 The old stalk of sugarcane is sweet, The tender plum is tart.

生薑老的辣。 韭菜嫩個香。 The old ginger is spicy, The tender chives are fragrant.

勿對。 頭昏哉， 鴨血高哉。 No no no! My head is spinning, My blood pressure is through the roof!

得罪。 小鄭，來來來，拜師傅。 Sorry, sorry. Little Zheng, come and meet your master.

慢，衣冠不整，乃朋友之故。 參拜師傅。 Wait, being improperly dressed is the fault of one’s friends. I submit myself to my master.

一日為師，終身為父。 來來，起來起來。拜過師伯，跪下來。 A master for a day, a father for life. Come, you may rise. Now bow to your Uncle Master. Kneel down.

拜過師伯。 老夫足疾不便，只行常禮。 I submit myself to my Uncle Master. My foot is giving me trouble, you can just give me a bow.

願奈一學就會，一會就討飯。 這都是好話，牢記。 I hope that you will learn fast and that what you learn will bring you food. These are good words for you. Keep them in mind.

阿二，奈收仔徒弟未，搭你開開手滑。 還是請師伯來開開手。 A-2, now that you have a student, teach him something. Uncle Master should go first.

奈格徒弟，奈先教滑。 那就我來。 He’s your student, you should go first.

小鄭過來，你要先學降龍套？還是伏虎套？ 什麼叫降龍套、伏虎套？ Come over here, little Zheng. What would you like to learn, the dragon trick, or the tiger trick? What is the dragon trick? And the tiger trick?

降龍套就是弄蛇，伏虎套弄猢猻。 倒是猴猻的好， The dragon trick is charming a snake, and the tiger trick is training a monkey. I think it’s better to train a monkey.

我教你伏虎套。好，你站那塊。 阿三！阿三！阿三！ Let me teach you that trick then. All right. Stand over there. A-3! A-3! A-3!

老大，我的猴猻阿三呢？ Principal, where is my monkey A-3?

猴猻？押仔酒錢吃脫哉！ 什麼，你把我的猴子押酒吃了？ Your monkey? I exchanged it for some good wine!
What, you pawned my monkey for a drink?

老大，得罪了，今天拿你權當猴猻。 A-2, teach him something else. Principal, I am sorry I will have to ask you to be my monkey.

啊喲，人嘛，哪做猴猻呢？ 要教徒弟是沒法的。 Hey! As a man, how can I become a monkey? In order to teach our student I am afraid you must.

小鄭啊，今朝為仔奈學本事。師伯拉裡扮猴猻個哉！ Little Zheng, in order for you to learn our trade, your Uncle Master is going to play a monkey!

小小猴兒奔深山，毛長腿又彎， A little, tiny monkey is going to the mountain. His hair is long, his legs crooked.

學成文武藝，跳圈也不難。 阿三要唱戲了！ But see the many tricks he can perform, including jumping through hoops. My monkey A-3 is going to perform!

來學一個李三娘挑水！ 小小扁擔兩頭翹，富貴人家走一遭。 Show us “Li Sanniang carrying water”! With her little pole pointing up on its two ends, she is going to visit a rich family.

阿三，再學個八十公公。 八十公公憐老年，手攀花枝淚漣漣， A-3, now show us “an old man of eighty.”
A poor 80-year-old grandpa is reaching out for some flower branches, crying.

花開花落年年有，人老何曾再少年？ 阿三，再打個筋斗。 Flowers may bloom and fall to the ground every year, but has youth ever returned to a man who’s old? A-3, now do a somersault.

格個阿二，我老哉，骨頭硬個哉，翻勿動哉！ I say A-2, I am too old, with my bones really stiff, I can’t do tumbling anymore!

老酒好吃，猴猻難扮。那是要戒酒個哉！ It’s easy to drink good wine, but difficult to play a monkey. Better quit drinking!

小鄭，來來來，學會未有？ 不會，難學。 Come over here, Little Zheng: Have you learned the tricks? No, it’s too hard.

趕他出去！ 阿二，奈做啥？ No? Too hard? Then get out! What are you doing, A-2?

教而不受，非我之徒也！ 待他溫故而自省，再思可也。 He did not learn what I just taught him, so I won’t take him as my student! Give him some time to review and think through and he might learn it.

阿二，我看奈還是拿奈個看家本事教把俚吧！ 好，看在你老大的份上，我把看家本事教給他。 A-2, I think you’d better teach him the trick only you are good at. All right, for your sake, let me teach him that trick.

小鄭，快點，唔丟師傅要拿看家本事個哉。奈要好好學。 小鄭，我教你一套跌金牌。 Little Zhen, pay attention, your master is going to teach a trick only he can do. Learn it well. Little Zheng, let me teach you the trick of the golden brick.

可是金子打的麼？ 金子打的。你又好拿去嫖了。是假的！ Is it made of gold? If it was made of gold, you’d use it up at the brothel. It’s fake!

你要裝一個假瞎子，兩個眼睛往上翻，這個樣子，看好了。 Pretend that you are blind, with your eyes looking up, Like this. Watch me.

手上拿一根竹竿，瞎戳，瞎戳，戳到十字街頭。雙膝下跪，把嗓子憋起來。 Then you carry a stick and tap around when you walk until you reach the center of town. There you kneel down and cry out:

啊呀，我那南來北往的老爹奶奶呀，可憐我抬頭不見青天面哪，低頭不見那路高低呀。 Ah, my old grandpas and nannies who are passing through here,Have mercy on me who cannot see the sky above, or the road ahead.

啊呀，老爹奶奶，你捨個錢吧！你若不捨，我就要打。 Please, old grandpas and nannies, spare some change!If you don’t, I will hit myself with this brick.

這一下，不要打死了哇！ 不打死你，打死哪一個？ Oh, no, this is going to kill you! If I don’t kill you, who am I going to kill?

來來來，跪下來，把嗓子憋起來。 憋起來。 Come over here, kneel down, and cry out with all your voice. Yes, with all my voice.

啊呀，我那南來北往的老爹奶奶們哪！ 奶奶-們 Ah, my old grandpas and nannies who are passing through here... Nannies...

啊喲，也不是唱小生：奶奶們！ 這個不行。嗓子粗點。 Hey! You are not training to play a young scholar in the theatre. Say it this way: Nannies! Make your voice coarser.

捨一個錢吧， 你要不捨，我就打。 Please spare some change. If you don’t, I will hit myself with this brick. 唉，啊喂，見紅了！ Oh, my, it’s bleeding!

啊喲，出血個哉！真正是杠頭開花哉！ 小鄭，阿會了？ Ouch, I’m really bleeding, having “red flowers on my head,” so to speak! Little Zheng, did you learn the trick?

不會，難學！ 奈啥只會格二句？罷哉！師伯我看奈可惱。 No, it’s too hard. “Too hard”? Are these two words the only thing you learned? Forget it! Uncle Master, he’s driving me crazy!

師伯我有個殺手鐧，傳把奈吧！ 格個叫裝聾作啞。 Well, let your Uncle Master teach you my ultimate trick, It’s called “Playing Deaf and Mute.”

何裝聾作啞？ 扮一個假聾子，假啞子。 What is “Playing Deaf and Mute”? You pretend that you are deaf and mute.

走到十字路口，街心當中，跪下來，搖搖鈴。 啊巴，啊巴，啊巴巴巴。 You walk to the center of town. There you kneel down and ring this bell, And make sounds: “Aba, aba, abababa…”

有人看見奈可憐，把奈銅鈿。奈要拿下來。倘然把奈一把米，奈勿要。 If someone feels sorry for you and would like to give you money, you take it. But if they give you rice, you don’t take it.

心裡個意思：要錢不要米，阿會了？ 會了！ The point is: you want money, not rice. Understand? Yes, I do!

會了，奈試試看。 You do? Now you try.

阿二，俚學會哉。無丟徒弟學會個哉！ 什麼？會了？開竅了？來來看！ A-2, your student has learned a trick, he’s learned a trick! Really? He’s learned some trick? Let me take a look!

花子，我有一個小銅鈿。 叫花子，我這裡有把米。 Beggar, here’s some change. Beggar, here’s some rice.

要錢不要米。 呀呸，真是塊朽木也！ I want money, not rice. Pah! You’re a good-for-nothing piece of rotten wood!

二位師尊：（唱）念我一身狼狽，又無親識見憐，虧得阿二收留,蒙君收錄，感恩非淺。 My two masters:（sing）Have mercy on my miserable self, with no family to help me! Please keep me here, and I will thank you with deep gratitude

我願為乞丐怎辭卑賤， I am willing to beg and won’t see it as disgraceful.

把【蓮花落】唱出來求錢。望老爹奶奶行方便。 I will sing the lotus tune to ask for money,Seeking help from old grandpas and nannies.

啊呀喂，老大，小鄭會唱【蓮花落】。 啥麼事？奈會唱【蓮花落】？ Hey, Principal, Little Zheng can sing the lotus tune. What? He can sing the lotus tune?

哦喲，唱兩句聽聽！ 唱得好，馬上叫阿二帶你去討飯。 My, sing for us.If you sing well, I will ask A-2 to bring you out to beg for food.

如此，眾位聽了！（唱）一年價才過，不覺又是一年價春。 Really? Then please listen!A year has just passed, and now it’s already a new spring.

二位，可好？ 哈哈！ 老大，這個徒弟給我收著哉！ Will that do, my masters?
Hahaha! Principal, I am going to keep this student!

卑田院出仔秀才，要豎起旗杆哉！ Now that our begging school has a top scholar, I am going to fly a banner to announce this!

老大，徒弟第一次討飯，我要為他把把場的。 我搭奈一道去。 Principal, my student is going to beg for the first time, let me help him out. Let me come with you.